the Relentless Race

written 10/10/09

i went last night to the relentless conference. i really wasn't expecting anything. i was just stoked to be able to worship b/c i felt like i hadn't in a while. the worship was awesome as always.

the message was presented by pastor erin of one love. it was pretty good. he was really funny and spazztastic.

the main point i got from his message is that to START NOW for Christ! his scriptures came mostly from 1st Timothy. I should've writeen notes *sad face* but i came late from work.

there was a video he showed that i really felt God placed on my heart that was the reason i was s'posed to be there.

the first 20 secs of the video was unclear what it was about. there weren't any words or talking. just video and music.

the video showed a paralytic young man in an inflatable raft, being towed in the ocean by a man. my first thought was, man, that must be tough! i can hardly even swim for myself...and to swim for two!

then it showed the man get to shore to and pick up the young man and was carrying him with one arm under his back and another under his legs.

he was running through a maze of people. then i realized these two were in a race and the older man was the father and the younger man the paralytic son.

when i realized that the dad was taking the son with him through the race with the son just enjoying the journey--the wind through his face, the joy of getting to the finish line--i just started crying hard and couldn't stop.

it has a been a tough two weeks for me in which two days ago i had the thought of giving up.

it was weird.

at the time of the thought, i knew i wasn't actually going to give up, but my emotions and body were screaming "take the easy road! we can't do this!"

God heard my cry from deep within. i didn't need to say it aloud. he knew how much i could handle before i would've snapped.

to be honest with you, the things i went through were not NEARLY as rough as the things that Jesus went through when he died on the cross for us. but being the weak, feeble human i am, the lack of sleep, family problems, work issues, and the devil's lies from the past were catching up to me.

i thought to myself, the next problem that comes my way i'm just gonna snap!

well, he saved me once again.

it's weird.

my mood slowly was being lifted. it was another accumulation of God using the people around me to lift me back up.

many times i don't like to take encouragment from people because of a number of reasons. but this time God allowed my heart to be open and receive these encouraging words.

and through each one, i swear i felt like God saying "these words are from me. listen and accept."

back to the video.

it reminded me of the footprints poem in which the line goes "when you see one set of footprints, it was then that i carried you."

the dad in the video carried his son throughout the WHOLE ironman race. his son was incapable of doing any of the events. but the reason his dad did this is b/c he loved his son sooo much.

i know i am incapable....of sooo much.

especially the things He asks me to do.

but he does it so that He can carry me through to show His love for me.

He will carry me through the end of the race.

All God wants of me is to enjoy the journey.

His victories are my victories.

And that is the God i serve.